Toddler Taming

HELP!!!!
I really need your tips and advice for getting back some calm & order ... maybe like never before!

Baby Wild is living up to her nickname.  Only wilder than the amazon trapped in a bag of tricks.  Nothing is ever ok, epic almighty disasters and dramas unfurl at every turn and I have even stopped taking her out in public unless it is necessary for fear of the next downpour of rage and temper.  And she's not even two yet. Heaven help us if there's more to come with the so called Terrible Twos.  I shall have to resign my position as Mama, I swear!

The only book I ever come across which touched upon this subject was written my a fabby journalist many years ago.   She had a whole host of hilarious distraction techniques and tricks up her sleeve in case of any sudden outbursts.   Unfortunately I neither wrote them done, not can remember the book now in my hour of need.

What works (worked) for you?  Do you think distraction techniques are the only way,  or try to ignore such behaviour to discourage it,  or indeed have other ideas?  I'm finding it impossible not to be infuriated and start to lose my own temper in the end.  We use the naughty step for when she's bad & try to ignore most of the tantrums,  or calm her down when she works herself up into a furious towering cyclone hell bent on smashing everything in sight,  but when things get that bad we always end up putting her in her room to simmer down as there is simply no reasoning with an explosive 20month old!

I did dream of having a brave and independant daughter.... maybe I should be careful what I wish for !

Breastfeeding

Oh my god I hated every minute of breastfeeding.  I was not one of those fortunate ladies who take to it instantly, and find it a bonding and loving experience.  No sir! It was pain all the way!  But being a stubborn and determined mama, I stuck it out for as long as I could... which was only 6 weeks in my case.

I would never had lasted that long without a whole army of support.  I'm not exaggerating - I had a breastfeeding 'buddy' who was at the end of the phone with advice and would visit for moral support (!), attended the local breastfeeding club - although that was mostly for the free lunch and to try make new friends (I didn't), and of course I had the bossy midwives visiting to help out.  Making it to the breastfeeding club by lunchtime on a Thursday always felt like such a miraculous triumph & achievement!  Although I found the staff intimidating, it was so useful and encouraging too, especially since I struggled so much.

But the crucial point came when my favourite mid wive came to visit one day and I broke down in tears with exhaustion and pain.  Taking pity on me she shared the best 2 tips I have.  The first one was how to get baby to sleep on her own.  The second was possibly controversial, but a total life saver in my case - that you can top up breastfeeding with bottle feeding!  Wow!  SO simple, why had no-one shared this with me before?!  Because the other midwives insisted that once baby had fed from a bottle she'd never go back to breast (it's apparently more difficult - like a hungry baby cares!) and that all my milk would instantly dry up and vanish! Bollocks to that.  That night was the first time any of us got some decent sleep since the birth.  Baby Wild had a full belly for the first time, and was tricked into thinking she sleeping on Daddy Native's chest, and I was a whole world calmer.

The point of this is simple - don't be afraid to work out what works for you.  The 'professionals' aren't always right and can't know what's right for you individually.  There are no rules, throw away the books and follow your instinct - you know you're doing all you can the best you can for baby, and therefore she's going to be fine!

Glasgow Riverside - Summer events

After a long wait, the fabulous looking new Transport Museum has (re-)opened in Glasgow on the banks of the Clyde.  Daddy Wild is quite keen to go so it won't be long til I post a review on here from a kiddies point of view for you all.

In the meantime, I discovered that there are loads of things happening on the riverside to coincide with the museum opening, including a riverside regatta, a seafood festival, a new Rat Race location (oh I long to be fit enough!), and drive-in movies!  Have a peek here for the full line up.

But most exciting of all for my emerging enthusiasm for revisiting my own childhood fantasies is The Forgotten Island, just beside the Transport Museum.  It sounds fantastic - a growing, temporary space for kids to interact and participate with.  It sounds a bit mysterious, so I have signed up for their emails with clues and news, and hopefully shall be bringing it to life for you to find out more here in the coming weeks.  It disappears on the 18th September, so I'll get to get a move on and go soon so I can revisit and see the changes before it ends in September.

Best day ever

We plumped for Kelburn. The sun was so fantastic that I decided to get us both dressed up and crash the festival for a couple of hours.  I figured that if we failed to get in then at least we were near to beaches and the sea and would find plenty of other treats in that direction.

But lo and behold we got in no bother, for free seeing as we were staying until 6pm. And holy crap but it rocked!!! I was actually jealous of the children (and there were many) present as the whole place would have totally blown my mind when I was a kid. There was so much effort in to decorate trees, creature sculptures hiding in bushes, lots of folk dressed up as fairies and spirits to tell stories and throw riddles and secrets to unravel to kids in the secret forest. 

There were illustrated maps of where are the stages, bars, toilets etc were with the music and entertainment line-up on the back.  There were plenty of food stalls, and lots & lots of stalls selling crafts, hand made toys and lotions etc.  It was very hippy, I was very happy, but very aware that my toddler was not so laid back and chilled as the rest!  On saying that, there was a great mix of people, so don't let the hippy vibe deter you if that's not your thing, man.  There were entire families there, from old grandparents right down to ickle babies, with men in football tops basking in the sun right next to teenagers decked out on all their day-glo glory swigging from their merry carryouts.  It was a completely eclectic affair, with a lot of truly imaginative and sensational fancy dress.  We even stumbled across a mad hatters tea party where some poor sweating folk were sitting all day in full character costume to entertain surprised kids who stumbled across their path.

All of course back dropped by the stunning painted castle.  Well done to the folk at Kelburn -  a lot of hard work and effort, and it all paid off for a great weekend.  I shall be going back again next year, for a whole day at least, and will be bringing every child I know!

Afterwards we couldn't resist a quick trip to the playground in Largs for an ice cream and a play on the slides in the evening sun.  Messy, sticky but extremely happy, I think one toddler had the best day ever this weekend.

PS - here's a list of other things nearby in Largs....

Out and about this weekend.. decisions, decisions

The sun is shinning and I owe Baby Wild some quality fun time. We're just back from a holiday in Ireland and I have been so depressed back at work and the monotony of the working week/cleaning/unpacking/washing/having to talk to office colleagues/parenting dullness now that the party with friends is over! So I think she needs some 1 on 1 time to make up for general lack of patience this week.

So what to do? We are so lucky to live near Kelburn Castle and they are hosting their fabulous Garden Party festival this weekend. My dilemma is that I am kinda skint after the hols, and I'm not sure I can afford £42 for the Saturday day pass, especially when I am actually only going to manage a few hours with a toddler. I think I might chance my arm at the gate and see if they will let in the 2 of us for a discount for simply a few hours in the afternoon before most of the music stages are fully functioning etc? I dunno, but I guess if you don't ask you don't get!
My other alternative is to go strawberry picking at East Yonderton Farm, just next door to Glasgow Airport.  That would make up for me feeling so pathetic for not bothering to net my main crop strawberries in my own garden and therefore not getting to taste a single one for all the wildlife.  I have netted my beloved wild strawberry patch, but they are young and yield tiny (but deliciously sweet) fruit. 

Time will tell, and I shall let you know how we get on.

Spiers Parkland, Beith

Sometimes there is only time to squeeze in a short walk to see what's growing wild and let Baby Wild run wild for 20 minutes.  Not far from us is the site of an old school, which has been looked after by Friends of Spiers who have turned the space into a wild garden with help from some funding from the council and other organisations.  I'm including it on here because it's a great example of little known local gems, proving that sometimes community spirit in the west of Scotland still survives!

It 's a great place to go for a stroll rather than a walk, so ideal for toddlers and older folk too should you have great granny visiting!  If you're in Beith and wondering how to get there, here's a link with directions.  You could park your car in Beith, and walk to Spiers, spend some time nature hunting before setting out Geilsland Road towards Gateshead where you can enjoy a pint and lunch in the very child friendly pub there. 

 Many community activities have come together to improve the site and to promote use. These have included a community clean up organized by the Beith Community Council, bulb and tree planting by Gateside Primary School and the construction of new paths by Ardrossan Academy pupils. Earlier this year funding from North Ayrshire Council and Forestry Commission Scotland enabled a network of paths to be provided which meander through the quiet park, flanked by wild garlic, ferns and wild flowers.  There is also a 'Living Fossil' tree, the slow growing Dawn Redwood. The tree was originally surrounded by a key shaped edged path network with other ornamental plantings.

Local schools and youth groups are involved in the restoration project and this has enabled the young participants to get new practical and social skills. For those pupils who participate the garden has acted as an “ outdoor classroom”.  The initiative is in line with the Curriculum for Excellence and will help achieve   the  national outcome that young people are successful learners; confident individuals; effective contributors and responsible citizens.  I love that some of the Out of School clubs have been building a 'Bug Hotel' or 'Munchy Bug Restaurant' with the help of the NAC Garnock Valley Ranger. The group collected a number of old wooden pallets, nailed them together, roofed the 'hotel' with turf sods and filled the 'floors' with wood, sticks, bricks, slates, stones, tree tubes, etc to create a wide variety of habitats which will encourage a 'high occupancy'.  The group are keeping an eye on the 'hotels' progress and any interesting species found will be added to the National Biodiversity Database operated by the NAC Biological Records Centre at Eglinton Country Park.  I think that's a cute idea!



Kelburn Castle, Largs

One of my favourite places to take kids to (as an excuse - I LOVE this place!) is Kelburn Castle and the surrounding estate.  Huge bonus for not being far from where we live, another huge bonus for being really cool and not very expensive.

We're planning a trip there soon, I've been a little pre-occupied with my own estate of recent weeks so we have nowhere new to write about as yet, so I thought I'd inspire myself by remembering to plan a trip soon!

The castle, dates back to the 13th century, and is still lived in by the present Earl and his family.  It hosts exotic gardens, famous trees and many historical features. There's also the Kelburn Glen with its waterfalls and deep gorges, and beautiful woodlands with great views over the islands of the Firth of Clyde.
There is HEAPS to do as facilities include a Pony Trekking & Riding School, Indoor Playbarn, Pet's Corner, Adventure Course, Gift Shop with cafe, and Ranger Service Events.

It is common knowledge that I HATE SOFT PLAY places, but Kelburn's Playbarn is pretty darn good.  It's cheap as chips, small and friendly.  A visit also can't be made without appreciating the amazing Graffitti Project where Kelburn brought together four of the world's leading graffiti artists from Brazil and created a burst of colour, covering the walls and turrets of the south side of Kelburn Castle.  It's fantastic!

Then there's the Annual Garden Party, which I'm afraid due to the appearance of certain toddler I have yet to take part in. However this year it's on the 2/3 July and I fully intend to make it this year!

In the meantime, I'll post some photos up when I manage to drag my muddy arse away from the garden for long enough to treat Baby Wild to an afternoon out!

Logistics / 10

baby friendly            10
toddler friendly         100
toilets/changing         10
accessibilty               10
car parking              free & plentiful
cost                         Adults £7.50, Child/Conc £5.00, Families £25
(Family day ticket entitles entry for 2 adults and up to 3 children).

Remember your first week with baby? EEK!!!!

I suddenly realised today that in not such a long time from now, my aforementioned fantastic best mate shall be delivering two more gang members to our happy throng!  Although I started thinking about the idea of this blog way back when Baby Wild was a mostly sleeping bubba, it took me so long to actually getting round to getting it up and running that I have forgotten all the stuff that held my every thought 19 months ago.  First piece of advice mothers-to-be DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF BABY BRAIN & write everything down for you will forget not only the birth (thank the gods) but every little joy that comes after no matter how it feels as though you shall cherish each moment for the rest of your life.  You won't, they just get replaced by new ones and lists of chores.

And so dear online friends I need your help - can you remember all the things that you wanted to know, but were afraid to ask / had no-one to ask?  What you really wanted brought to your door during those dazed and confused days - food, no flowers, cake, a paid for cleaner, a litre of vodka perhaps?? Any creams, oils or lotions that you swear by for halting stretch marks & soothe sore boobs?

I remember designing my dream preggo/new man hamper basket..... only I have completely forgotten the contents dammit.  So I intend to spend the next few weeks trying to regain my 'new mother' thoughts & ideas. 

OMG I think I would have thrown this at anyone mad enough to present it to me fresh home from hospital!

So far my list begins with no flowers or silly balloons,
lots of home cooking, easy to reheat and also snacks!
lots of make life easier offers and promises (like bonefide offers for babysitting)
cabbages (for boobs of course!),
nappies & wipes, as you can never have too many and those things cost!
ear plugs,
lansinoh cream,
DVDs to watch when all you want to do is sleep,
pamper treats for mum, maybe miniature hand creams and sweet smelling lotions while she's in hospital - I found my skin dried out all the time in the hospital heat, and I relished sweet smells as everything smells of disinfectant in wards!

What can you recall?

Lochwinnoch farmers market

We went to the farmers market today, and really looked forward to it as it's the first of the summer here.  I have to say it was more than a little disappointing. There were two meat stalls, one vegetable stall, one bread & cake stall, and one local sweets, cheese & jam stall outside. Inside the centre there was one old lady selling plants, the wonderful Lime Tree Larder stall, a stall selling spices & soup, and a crazy recycled jewelry stall.  That actually makes it sound busier and fancier than it was in reality!

All we bought was a small cheese and two bargain-tastic small plants.  What we REALLY wanted was hot food - as in bratwurst or roast pork or better still a burger, of the venison/buffalo style variety as it was cold and there were hangovers to feed. But the only food there was was the cafe produce inside, which wasn't an option with a particularly tetchy and tantrum prone toddler in a foul mood. 

But it reminded me none the less that Lochwinnoch is a great place to spend a few hours when the sun is out with kids.  In fact I regularly lie through my teeth and say I live in Lochwinnoch as I love it that much and won't admit that where I live isn't quite so charming!

You can get the train from Glasgow central and be at the RSPB reserve in 20 minutes which is a great place to walk around and browse in the surprisingly interesting and reasonably priced shop.  Even if you aren't nuts about birds, it's a great place for kids to explore and learn.

Castle Semple is only a further 15 minute walk from there, and has tons of free car parking if you're driving.  They have LOADS of water sports available, as well as the cafe, regular organised walks and events etc.  You can see why I pretend to live there...

Lochwinnoch even has it's on website and newsletter with full listings of the varied events.

Hospital bags - what did you pack?

As my best mate gets a bit closer to considering working out what to pack, what to bring, the fastest route to the hospital I have been thinking about the much debated Hospital Bag, or Labour Bag, if your reading american websites, or multiple bags if you are me.

You see this was my specialist subject as my due date grew near. Dammit I was such a preggo geek!  I had two bags - one for labour, and one for going home.  Actually I still recommend that approach despite not having worked out for me very well, but at least it kept me calmer & feeler better prepared.

Anyways here's what I packed.....
Labour Bag
I had grand dreams of getting an epidural and fantasised long hours of boredom after reading ... book so I mostly packed stuff to fend off the boredom and keep both myself & Daddy Native if not sane, then at least occupied.

• Birth plan (completely & utterly over-ruled/ignored in my case however)
• A deck of playing cards
• Bags of Snack a Jacks
• List of phone numbers and a spare phone charger
• Socks - I kept reading that your feet get really cold giving birth?!
• Lipbalm
• Tens machine - have no idea if this actually helped or not
• Straws for drinking water easily
• Hair bands
• Anti-bacterial surface wipes (which just offended the nurse! But I was lucky to have a fabulous new unit)
• Fully charged iPod with calming playlists (ahahahahahHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!) & iPod dock
• One of Daddy Native's shirts for labour (SO never happened - I ended up wearing it the following day while he picked me up clothes from home)

Hospital Bag
Being freakishly organised I packed all the basic items I thought baby and I would need to get us home.  But I was still totally unprepared and had to borrow stuff to wash both of us in!

• Front opening nightdress & dressing gown, slippers
• Overnight toiletries - didn't think to bring stuff for baby though!
• Clean clothes for me to get home comfortably
• Change for vending machines/car park/phone cards etc
• A list of all the foods I'd missed out on whilst pregnant so Daddy Native could organise a picnic for the following day - mainly featuring blue cheese & pate
• Mini bottle of champagne (never go anywhere without one of those!)
• Nursing bra
• breast pads, maternity pads & a collection of old knickers
• Arnica tablets

Baby's first outfit, taking season into consideration! (Nothing fitted, we had to phone Daddy Native's sister to bring the correct sized outfits, so I'd recommend waiting until you see how small/big your baby stork is!)

Here's what I actually used.....

• NOTHING from the labour bag - it was all happened way too fast for us. Although as I had a room to myself for the first two nights, the iPod dock was fantastic for playing music, entertaining not just me but also the nurses.
• I did use everything from the hospital bag, but really would advise that at the very least you write a list for additional clothes etc in case you end up staying longer than desired.

But don't take my word for it -
I found this pretty helpful and based my list on this list
If you can get your hands on Jules Oliver's book 'Minus 9 to 5' has a great funny list I remember
You can always rely on these guys for lists!


What did you pack?