Triple P Parenting

Whilst doing some research for the real day job earlier this afternoon, I came across some NHS advice for parents in the Greater Glasgow Area.  It's called Triple P Parenting, which stands for Positive Parenting Program.  It sounds a bit American, in fact it was developed at the University of Queensland in Australia and describes itself as "a system of easy to implement, proven parenting solutions that helps solve current parenting problems and prevents future problems before they arise" according to the 1990's styled website.  It's a user friendly approach, to help parents who are struggling with any aspect of raising a family.  Whether you just need a simple solution to a particular problem, or are having serious problems and have no idea where to start to look for help, Triple P is being suggested as the place to go.  Advice can come in free group sessions, or in regular organised seminars or podcasts.


I thought I'd share this post as this is all news to me.  I'm not sure whether it's something I'd use myself, but it may be a saviour for many struggling parents out there.  I probably would have run to the nearest seminar on Tantrums a few weeks ago when TT was at her worst!  I just read these tips on toddler taming, nothing new or revolutionary, but maybe just what the doctor ordered on a tired and frazzled day when you just want to run away.  But can't, obviously.  If you want more detail follow any of the links above or see this outrageously outdated leaflet.

Me, I preferred Super Nanny US.  Taught me everything I needed to know whilst simultaneously making me feel like the best mother on earth in comparison to some of the families on the show!  Nasty?  But true.

TT's best friend and neighbour dancing on her birthday - cute! But entirely unrelated to this post!

The Naughty Step

Three cheers for the naughty step!!
I have moaned on here over the past few months about Baby Wild being renamed The Terrorist due to her propensity for throwing earsplitting tantrums at will.  They truly were just awful, emotionally charged, anger fuelled and exhausting for both of us.  But as most things are with young children, they were mostly a phase.  I hate when folk offer advice saying "don't worry - it's just a phase".  Agh!  I know that thanks very much, what I'm asking you to help me with though is dealing with this part of the phase please!  God and it was so much worse in public, I didn't take her out in public for a month or so if it could be helped for fear of the mortification of people observing that I couldn't control such a wild child.

So we started using the naughty step, which in our house is just the door mat at the front door.  And it worked! Almost immediately!  I realise that it isn't going to work for every kid, but it is worth a try.  As long as you stick to the basic rules and follow through to completion every time as it's all about consistency. 
It starts with a warning that if the child continues to misbehave they will go to the step (wherever that may be in your house).  Explain why their behaviour is unacceptable, and make sure that there are no other issues at play here which could easily solve the problem immediately such as hunger, pain or sickness, tiredness etc.  If they still continue to act up, take them to the step, get down to their height & explain again why they are there, and how long they will have to wait it out there.  Amazingly, Baby Wild has always obeyed and stayed put on the step, despite a few violent kicking and wailing tantrums on the step in the early days!  We only make her stay there for one or two minutes as she's so little, but despite her age she understands why she's there and our reasoning.  After the time is up, and the child has calmed down, repeat the type of behavior you would prefer and again explain why she was there before offering hugs and kisses to show there's no bad feeling and all is well.  Oh, and try to get them to apologize - easier said than done with a child as stubborn as mine!  For more on the naughty step technique see Super Nanny's advice.

After employing the step for about 2 months now, we need to use it less and less.  There are days where TT just seems to be in a foul mood, and I'm too busy to take us both out and about as a distraction and the naughty step looms more threateningly on such days!  But mostly, when she starts to act up now, I ask her if she would like to go to the naughty step, for if not she must change her behavior instantly.  Cue a moment of sulking, but mostly she understands and stops the misbehaviour.  Makes life a hell of a lot easier for all of us, and we're all much happier as a result.

Of course, I also have to factor in that every day she is learning new words and starting to build bigger sentances so the sheer frustration of not being able to communicate what she wants is dissipating and which is a huge contributing factor to toddler tantrums.  You could argue that she's just growing out of 'the phase', but I know that cheeky mischievous gleam in her eye when she knows that what she's scheming might get her into trouble, and I know that the step will sort it out!

Does the naughty step work in your house?  I'd love to hear if you have any other tricks!

Going to Edinburgh with a toddler... Part 1

I have to admit something here, at home we actually refer to Baby Wild as "The Terrorist", due to the tantrums as mentioned previously.  So from now on, or at least until she matures into a more mature and calm child again, I shall abbreviate this to TT for blogging here.

I wanted to meet up for lunch with one of my bestest friends in Edinburgh.  As said 'Terrorist' can be a bit of a handful if things aren't going her way I played it safe by driving us through rather than getting the train.  So entailed the beginning of the usual military precision planning for such a major feat......

First off where would we go for lunch? Where was toddler friendly? Lets be clear here- this is completely different from child friendly.  Babies tend to keep themselves to themselves, and children above the age of 3 should be well enough behaved to be allowed in public places occasionally.  But who and where is happy to put up with a tiny tearaway who is referred to by her parents as the terrorist?

A google search pretty much came up with soft plays, pubs with soft plays (Like Brewers Fayre etc), really expensive tourist attractions.  The websites such as Tripadvisor and Babycentre etc only had ideas for babies or older children.  Yawn.  What about us?!  After some furry at the uselessness of babyfriendly.com and many facebook messages with my friend, we decided to have a picnic.  Is this a gap in the market?

Anyway, so ever hopeful of the weather we arranged to meet at the Meadows, so should the sun be in our favour we could let TT run riot whilst we were suitable close to coffee/toilets/toys/shelter all available at The Pavillion Cafe.  The sun wasn't shining, and the ground was soaking, so we abandoned the picnic to the car and ordered lunch in the cafe.  Totally recommend it for kids of all ages, maybe not babies though as there's no baby changing and it is tiny inside.  Only downside for toddlers is that there is no lock on the toilet door - so I spent lunch concerned that TT could storm any poor punter whilst on the loo! The staff were really friendly, trying to get TT to dance with them.  There are toy trucks and scooters outside and jigsaws & books inside for kids to help themselves to.  Now, I wouldn't recommend this to you unless like us you went to art college, or have a quiet hippy living inside your heart.  It's not a conventional cafe, it's independent and a spin off from the former successful Scott's Deli near Morningside.  So TT's generous slab of homemade pizza was amazing, with a wholemeal and cheese base.  I think TT's favourite part though, was charging through the puddles outside, destroying everything she was wearing!  What can you do, puddles are the bomb!

Toddler Taming

HELP!!!!
I really need your tips and advice for getting back some calm & order ... maybe like never before!

Baby Wild is living up to her nickname.  Only wilder than the amazon trapped in a bag of tricks.  Nothing is ever ok, epic almighty disasters and dramas unfurl at every turn and I have even stopped taking her out in public unless it is necessary for fear of the next downpour of rage and temper.  And she's not even two yet. Heaven help us if there's more to come with the so called Terrible Twos.  I shall have to resign my position as Mama, I swear!

The only book I ever come across which touched upon this subject was written my a fabby journalist many years ago.   She had a whole host of hilarious distraction techniques and tricks up her sleeve in case of any sudden outbursts.   Unfortunately I neither wrote them done, not can remember the book now in my hour of need.

What works (worked) for you?  Do you think distraction techniques are the only way,  or try to ignore such behaviour to discourage it,  or indeed have other ideas?  I'm finding it impossible not to be infuriated and start to lose my own temper in the end.  We use the naughty step for when she's bad & try to ignore most of the tantrums,  or calm her down when she works herself up into a furious towering cyclone hell bent on smashing everything in sight,  but when things get that bad we always end up putting her in her room to simmer down as there is simply no reasoning with an explosive 20month old!

I did dream of having a brave and independant daughter.... maybe I should be careful what I wish for !